Attachment and Responsive Caregiving - An Overview

Attachment

Attachment and responsive caregiving are perhaps the most important part of child development in my opinion because everything about the child’s future stems from this. Because of the vulnerable and dependent nature of human babies, their primary caregiver is the most important individual in their lives, and their relationship with them (which is established through attachment and responsive caregiving) form the basis for the rest of their lives.

Therefore, this subject is crucial in the child development conversation and something we will constantly come back to. How a child attaches and the type of caregiving they receive can very much affect their development in clear ways. It can literally make or break the individual.

This importance cannot be overstated.

How they understand and seek out social interactions and build relationships, their understanding of the world and their place in it, their ability to think and problem-solve well, and how they raise their own children all stem from this.

I am not saying that everything is absolute (for example, abuse is not the end and doesn't mean everything is hopeless), but things definitely do build on each other from day one of the baby’s life and secure attachments and responsive caregiving are important. We have seen how poor attachment affects young children and how good attachment gives them that extra boost in life.

The role of the caregiver in a child’s life is of the utmost importance. Like I have mentioned in earlier Issues, the caregiver helps the child to navigate and understand the world around them and protects them from the negative effects of the world, as well as encourages them in what needs to be explored and avoided. Right from the moment a mother is pregnant, she is encouraged to bond with her baby, while they are in the belly. The same with the father. They are encouraged to speak to the baby so that the baby comes to know their voices and they begin to see their child as a real, lovable individual.

When a baby is born, they are immediately brought to the mother’s chest for that moment of closeness and bonding. Even during the first six months of the baby’s life, where mothers are encouraged to breastfeed, the closeness of the child to their mother’s breast provides that initial safety, closeness, provision, and familiarisation associating the mother with all these things as well.

To the young baby, their mother or primary caregiver is their entire world. Their mother brings and sustains life, therefore, everything that the mother does matters to the baby and attachment is literally tied to life and death. Children will even regulate themselves to make sure that they do not upset their primary caregiver because their caregiver is attached to their survival.

What is attachment?

Attachment is the life-sustaining bond that is formed between a child and their caregivers or those closest to them. As a baby, the primary caregivers are who they will attach to. However, they can develop a healthy attachment with anyone as they grow. It does not have to happen exclusively between the child and their biological mother or father, though I think that is best. It is a relationship that is formed through consistent closeness, protection, meeting the child's need, and warmth and intimacy. Attachment is always related to how the caregiver treats their child and closely related to how affection grows and there are different types of attachment, which I discuss in Part 5.2.

Initially, it is very survival and physical needs based, however, later, it translates into affection which is more social needs based. Attachment is all about the safety a child feels with their caregiver and the enjoyment they both get from that relationship. While it is tied to biological needs, it is the foundation of society and socialisation because this is the first social relationship that the child will ever know and navigate.

It is important to note that attachment does not always happen as naturally as we would like to believe. There are often circumstances that may affect the development of attachment and make it less natural, but still possible with a bit of extra work. These may be disabilities or issues with either the caregiver and child or socioeconomic difficulties that cause caregivers to focus more on survival than bonding (more on this in a later piece).

However, the bonding relationship has been found to be safeguarding to both caregiver and child. Remember the dyad I mentioned in Issue 1 Part 4? They are an inseparable unit experiencing and responding to the world together, getting their cues from each other.

Why Healthy Attachment is so Important

In many ways, I believe that the bonding between caregiver and baby is beneficial and protective to both of them. People will always need to attach, feel safe and socialise and what the baby experiences from their caregiver will set the pattern for the rest of their lives.

The way children develop attachment should teach them how to relate to other people in a healthy and empathetic way. Since the caregiver-child relationship is their first-ever social interaction, it should equip them to better understand and relate to others and themselves. This then has implications for building a better society.

I am sure that there are countless benefits to developing a positive attachment relationship, here are just a few where healthy attachment influences the child’s development and where a lack of good attachment can negatively affect them:

• Supports social and emotional development

• Influences how children will respond to the environment in future

• Helps with the regulation of emotions

• Develops resilience

• Shields and protects children

• Links to cognitive development

• Forms the foundations of learning

• Transmission of values

• Navigating social relationships

• Identity development (how they see themselves and who they become)

Responsive Caregiving versus Simply Caregiving

Raising a child is about so much more than simply feeding, clothing, and educating them. It is taking an active interest in them as an individual. The secure, good attachment does not come out of just meeting the child's physical needs. Caregiving beyond the physical is crucial to human survival right from the moment we’re born.

This is where responsive caregiving comes in. Responsive caregiving differs from normal caregiving in that it is about learning who the baby is, attuning to their needs and character, and responding well and consistently. Each child is different, and caregivers need to learn the person they are taking care of and treat them in a way best suited to them. This kind of treatment makes them feel safe and secure in their relationship and in their exploration of the world which links to better mental stability as they grow. This is responsive caregiving.

Responsive caregiving is a building block of the development of attachment because it is what forms the consistency and reliability of the caregiver in the child's eyes. It is shown in being deliberate with the child and showing them that they can trust and count on you. How a caregiver responds to their child’s needs, especially their emotional and social needs and needs for safety will very much determine how that child attaches.

Importantly, how frequently the caregiver does this is important. Babies crave connection and are constantly seeking it out and there are many studies which show the value of a warm, loving environment for the baby's development. Responsive caregiving is creating that warm, loving environment.

Communication and Interaction

At the centre of the discussion on attachment and responsive caregiving is this element of communication and interaction. I hope to write on this topic more at some point as there is so much to it, but essentially, the attachment relationship is strengthened in the moments where there is closeness, not for survival, but just for the sake of it.

Communication and interaction are a central part of responsive caregiving and children are often ready and willing to engage. This is a deliberate practice of engaging actively and regularly with the child. This can also help their ability to think and express themselves, so really, it benefits everybody.

Communication and interaction are about taking an interest in the child, their thoughts and their life. They are about engaging with the child beyond simply instructing them to do things. This does not take a lot of time or resources and developing simple habits is better than trying to make a huge change all at once. This acknowledges the child’s existence as a valued member of the family and society. This teaches children to feel safe in communicating their needs which, as I said, strengthens attachment.

The Takeaway

The importance of deliberate bonding between the child and their primary caregiver should never be underestimated. Attachment and responsive caregiving are crucial to every part of a child's development and should be taken seriously as such. It is not about perfection, but consistency and intention.

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